Beautiful Day Horrible Night

Yesterday Jared and I joined in celebrating our closest friends joining together for time and all eternity. They were gorgeous and completely happy. I have lots of pictures since they asked me to take the pictures for the wedding day. darby was a beautiful bride and scott was needless to say full of smiles and excitement!! The day was amazing and i was sad when it was over and we had to return home. 
I wish the happiness lasted into the night. Earlier that day we learned tragedy had hit a sweet girl where we live the day before (we met here at these apartments and loved it so we moved into married housing). I was informed a girl was raped and beaten severely ( in midday)  while she was by her apartment by the riverwalk. She is in the ICU at the hospital down the street i hear. I was so sad by the news, but had the thought it will never happen to me. I tend to hear news like this and brush it off, as i do with all i see in the ER. However, i think this hit a little too close to home, literally. When we got home there was a flyer on our door talking about the safety one should have. I was severely disappointed as was Jared by the content of the flyer. The wording seemed to point to the idea this poor girl brought this upon herself. I was angry and hurt that the owners of the complex we live in would insinuate girls would ask for trouble like this. After going to sleep with a long talk of even throughout the day with Jared, i figured i would wake when it was time for me to go to work. Sadly at about midnight i awoke with my heart pounding, nausea, an intense headache and terror streaming through my body. I tossed and turned for a couple of hours till i woke my husband with all my movement. It hit me eventually this event the previous day has scared me to my core. I felt fear of leaving my home. Panic and anxiety quickly took over and the tears started. Why would someone do this? Did they watch the apartments to find a victim? I love to go out and go walking here and by myself usually. Am i in danger? My home security has been rocked, i thought of moving many times last night. Where would i find peace? We want to have a baby soon, could i be safe here with a child? This is Provo, where could i go to be safe if Happy Valley no longer felt safe to me? This event made me sick mentally, emotionally, and physically. For those that live here where we do, please be safe. For the girl who has had her world turned, i pray for you, i pray for a recovery mentally, emotionally and physically. In no way think this was your fault. As for me, i am home, in my home, trying to find the safety i once had. 

Special Olympics & complete Perfection

I was given the wonderful opportunity to attend the special Olympics for the state a few weeks ago. The closest i can describe what i felt there is Heaven must have been close because i could not stop smiling. It was complete joy and happiness. The people there were perfection, happy for being where they were and happy to cheer others on. We could learn a lot from them. When i was taking pictures of the runners i was holding back tears. The competition to win was not what was important. Everyone was excited to run/walk and excited to finish. To try and get out on the track and field is what was important. When they crossed the finish line, most turned around immediately and cheered whoever was running with them. I took lots of pictures, i hope you enjoy them, there is no fancy editing. How can i edit complete perfection, as this is what these people were.  I do hope one day to be medical personnel at the Special Olympics, but this opportunity was AMAZING!! thanks tiffany for inviting me to go with you!!

the official torch for the opening ceremony

I loved the enthusiasm everyone had!

it was pure smiles all day

if you did not want to run, throw things or jump, no need to worry there was a stage where you could dance your day away!!

My beautiful friend tiff with her sister who has gone to the world special olympics and brought home the gold!!

no worry of age, you just run!!

she was amazing!!

Weekend in the ER

No i was not a patient in the ER. I am fine and so is the family.. 
I was working in the ER doing my capstone for school. I am nearing the
 end of this journey. I am down to 9 weeks left. My days consists of tests
 and more tests to see how prepared we are to take the NCLEX . So 
far so good with my scores but i am still scared out of my mind as
 rumor has it the test got harder this year. This last weekend i spent
 4 days at Alta View ER working as a RN. Can i tell you i was so nervous!!
 i prayed that i would seem competent, and have some sort of idea in 
what i was doing. You would think with my years of working in the ER 
as an EMT i would be fine, but the RN aspect is so different. The first 
day i was there we had a trauma, needless to say i can not give details
 due to privacy laws, but i can tell you it got me realizing why I LOVE 
the ER. To think on my feet and know that this patients life is in my 
hands and the many other nurses, EMT's and MD's there reminded me 
why i love the ER so much. I got the desire to hit the books harder and 
to be at the best of my skills and knowledge. Now i know that there is 
lots i do not know,  but i was given many compliments on how i was 
in the trauma and the nurses were impressed i could still think on my
 feet and remember a lot of what i had learned in past experience and my amazing critical care class. My dream job would be to remain in the 
ER. i will admit i was a little sketchy on if i wanted to remain in the
 ER when i am done with school. But the feelings i felt when i left my 
shifts this weekend was something i have missed. I love being there to 
help people when they are in some of the lows in their life. I have a goal
 to make a patient smile even just for a minute when i am in the room.
 I know people come in the ER with major health problems and minor. 
No matter what they are there for i know they are coming trusting us
 with their lives or their loved ones lives. There is no room for judgement
 from me. I am there to help them and hope the situation will improve. 
Needless to say i was not out enjoying the sunshine this weekend, i got 
some emotional sunshine. Here is to hoping i can continue after i 
graduate in the ER and work where i know i have a great love for
 what i do.